


I know you better than I ever have before

by Del (goddessdel)



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: AU 2015 Christmas Special, Based on nothing but River's initial dress, Because that silver dress I cannot even, Episode Fix-It: s04e08 Silence in the Library, F/M, Fluff, Library Fix-It, No Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-18
Updated: 2015-12-18
Packaged: 2018-05-07 08:54:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5450741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goddessdel/pseuds/Del
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first thing River Song did when she woke up in her own body was take a proper bath. She rigged the teleporter to her favorite 61st century spa and checked in for the week to luxuriate in the feel of her old new skin.</p><p>The second thing she did was go find her husband.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I know you better than I ever have before

**Author's Note:**

> Written: 11/9/15-12/17/15
> 
> Note - I started this when the only real spoilers about the Christmas Special were the initial photos of Alex in that silver and black dress.  
> So this is already properly Moffat-ed. Please enjoy as a completely AU bit of fluff for River and Twelve, featuring River in (silver) The Dress.  
> What? You mean that River isn't post-Library? *lalalalalala* Sorry - I can't hear you.
> 
> Title from "Halcyon" by Ellie Goulding.
> 
> Thanks to Beverly and Megs for their wild enthusiasm - especially to Beverly for bribing, guilting and all but threatening me into finishing something fluffy.
> 
> Huge thanks to Charina for the beta. All remaining mistakes are my own.

The first thing River Song did when she woke up in her own body was take a proper bath. She rigged the teleporter to her favorite 61st century spa and checked in for the week to luxuriate in the feel of her old new skin.

 

The second thing she did was go find her husband.

 

Well... _strictly_ speaking, she'd made a few stops along the way.

 

She wasn't about to stumble into his arms, naked and confused. That was a bit too damsel in distress for her tastes. She ordered a custom gown, sweeping and sparkling; gemstones shimmered across a nude, plunging neckline, in perfect contrast to a dark skirt with a slit guaranteed to stop her husband's hearts - just for a moment (she wasn't trying to kill him _again_ , after all). She paired them with the sky high red heels that always left her sweetie stuttering and blushing, and left her hair loose and wild the way she knew he preferred (okay - maybe she was, just a bit).

 

It was easy enough to acquire a new vortex manipulator when one didn't mind using blatantly illegal means, or liberal use of threats, and the familiar weight strapped to her wrist grounded her in a way heels and massages never could.

 

River closed her eyes and listened to the remembered echo of the Doctor's heartbeats against hers, to the thread of song in the silent space right between her hearts that always lingered, golden and warm: the TARDIS singing to her child.

 

She followed that thread, coordinates swirling round and ephemeral behind her eyes, and keyed them into the vortex manipulator without looking.

 

The vortex danced across her skin like sparklers, a cool rush that always made her feel shockingly, viscerally alive, and then the waves of time and space parted and River Song stepped back into the world.

 

The song swept into a symphony, dancing across her mind; a welcome that was impossible to miss.

 

River opened her eyes, taking in the new TARDIS desktop - only slightly changed from the one she'd seen last. This one was stuffed full of life and books, of energy and equations, as if to make up for the mourning shroud of black that still lingered, despite splashes of color at the edges. River caressed a wall in sympathy, feeling it vibrate joyously under her hand, a subtle shifting of energies.

 

As tempting as it was to linger in the safe arms of her mother, it was obvious that the ship was empty, and River was done with waiting for her husband to return.

 

With one last pat and a silent promise to be back as soon as possible, River swung open the doors, her hearts pounding with dread and excitement at seeing what sort of trouble the Doctor was undoubtedly embroiled in.

 

His parking had improved, at least. The TARDIS was sat neatly in a storage cupboard, emptying into a long school hallway.

 

River stepped out warily, heels clacking smartly on the floors. Then she caught sight of a flier proclaiming Coal Hill, and she let out the breath she'd been holding. Everything came full circle, it seemed.

 

It was late though, the schoolrooms cold and empty. River followed the faint chords of music down the hallway - some sort of party. The Doctor always did love a party.

 

The normal party hubbub fell silent when she walked into the room. Well, couldn't blame a girl for making a bit of an entrance. It was a clearly a Christmas party for the staff, and River was wildly over-dressed. No matter - she'd not dressed for them.

 

She spotted him instantly, no matter the coverings. Scowling from the back of the room, arms crossed irritably over his chest, doing his utmost to pretend he didn't love a party. _Oh, Doctor._ It took him a moment to realize the chatter had stopped and for his curiosity to best his desire to seem above it all.

 

Then the Doctor looked up at her and their eyes met.

 

His jaw dropped, but it was River's hearts that skipped two beats.

 

Her grin was shaky at the edges, her voice softer than she'd meant it to be. "Hello, sweetie. Am I late?"

 

At the sound of her voice the Doctor lurched into motion, stalking toward her, closer and closer, until he was right in her personal space. His face was new, but she could read his expression as easily as ever. Fear, which wrenched at her, and then a smattering of hope that he tried to hide under a scowl he didn't mean. His new mask, in place of the too-bright smile previous regenerations used.

 

"Late?! What sort of time do you call this?"

 

His voice was low and scratchy and so, so Scottish that River had to blink wide eyes against what might have been a tear, any pithy reply stuck in her throat.

 

"Well, wife?"

 

_Wife._

 

There was that hope again, and she couldn't tell if it was hers or his. Damn him.

 

"Christmastime, by the look of it." River lifted a hand in a careful, controlled movement, stroking one finger across his red velvet coat. They were both overdressed, it seemed. Bespoke. "I must have misplaced my invite."

 

"You're always invited."

 

He sounded gruff, choked, but then his hands were cupping her face and that last inch between them disappeared, his lips against hers.

 

Their last kiss, the Doctor had killed her and saved her. Fitting, given she'd done the same to him with their first.

 

This was a neither a first nor a last, and it was brand new and the same as always; all rough need and intimate knowledge and searing passion. The kind of kiss that left her wobbling in her heels and clutching at her husband, wrinkling velvet under her tightly clenched fingers. She was crushed against him, the resounding echo of his heartbeats fast against her own, right where they belonged.

 

The chatter was back two-fold when they parted, interspersed with wolf-whistles and applause. River couldn't even manage to be smug, distracted by the Doctor grumbling, " _Humans never know when to mind their own bloody business,"_ and marching abruptly out of the room, his hand clutching hers as though he might never let go again.

 

His stride was brisk, and River stumbled a bit in her heels, caught off guard - it had been a long time since they'd run together. The Doctor cursed under his breath (quite a mouth he had this go around - she couldn't wait to try it out properly) and slowed, releasing her hand to tuck her into his side, his hand splayed low and possessive across her back.

 

River shivered at the contact - his palm warm and heavy against her bare skin - leaning into him and wishing fervently the TARDIS were closer. "Listen to you - have you finally managed a _proper_ adult regeneration then, Doctor?"

 

"How about I show you?"

 

And the Doctor twisted them smoothly until River's back was pressed against the cool glass of a door, the Doctor pressed deliciously against her front. With her heels on, they were almost the same height, and every part of him aligned with every part of hers _perfectly_.

 

Hearts racing, River tilted her head back and caught the smoldering look in his eyes - as though he were planning on devouring her. She always did love it when he had a plan. Still, she arched a brow. "The TARDIS is that way."

 

"Too fucking far," he growled, tilting his head slightly and claiming her lips for another damning kiss - the kind where they both forgot to breathe.

 

With the hand not clutching at his coat, River reached out behind her until her fingers closed on a doorknob. Unlocked, which was a bit of luck. The door swung open and they all but fell through it, stumbling to get in without releasing one another or looking where they were going. This version of her husband had a fair bit more coordination than the last though because they not only managed to stay vertical, but he pulled the door shut behind them _and_ somehow steered her to rest against a desk.

 

Impressed, River hopped up to sit on the desk - pushing the Doctor back just far enough that she could recline and cross her left leg over her right. This gave him the opportunity to fully appreciate the scandalous slit in her dress - open all the way up her thigh. "A schoolroom, Doctor, really? And what's today's subject?" she teased, putting on her best strict professor voice.

 

The Doctor groaned, his eyes trailing across her bare skin and sweeping neckline before he smirked and took another step back, shoving his hands in his pockets. "My favorite: you."

 

"Oh shut up," River huffed, dropping back to her feet and hauling him closer to punctuate her point with a kiss.

 

The Doctor's hands were on her instantly, one sliding up her bare thigh and the other slipping in her top to cup her breast and roll her nipple between his fingers. River let out an appreciative sigh, arching into him, but her dress was in the way, and the gems kept catching on the velvet of his coat.

 

They parted with the same lingering reluctance and impatience that grew between their kisses. The Doctor shifted his hand from her breasts to her spine, fingers dragging down her zip even as his other hand continued to stroke boldly across her inner thigh. He didn't seem inclined to let her out of his arms long enough to actually divest her of the garment though - his hand low at her back arching her into him while his mouth was at her neck, leaving stinging, biting kisses that kept her wiggling into him impatiently.

 

But one of them needed a bit of sense, and so (for the first time ever) it was River who chided, "Patience, sweetie," and shoved him back again, biting back the sense of fleeting loss when his hands left her skin.

 

With one delicate shrug the dress puddled at her feet and River stepped out of it wearing nothing but a smirk, her heels, and her jewelry. "There now, that's better. Your turn, Doctor."

 

Only the Doctor seemed to have been struck dumb by the sight of her. Flattering, but hardly productive. River stepped into him and unbuttoned his coat, the velvet soft against her skin.

 

"Fuck, you're gorgeous."

 

Her touch seemed to have snapped him out of his stupor, his hands settling very pointedly over her naked body, squeezing and caressing in a zealous way that left River fighting not to let her knees tremble. Oh, she had missed having a body. She'd missed having his hands on it more.

 

"What a filthy mouth, Doctor; I quite like it," she confided, nipping at his earlobe and shoving off his coat.

 

"I have a lot of internalized anger," the Doctor confessed, more than a bit distracted, if the way his hands were palming her breasts and arse was any indication. "Have you _seen_ these eyebrows?"

 

River started at the buttons to his dress shirt next. "Mmm, I'm sure that with the proper _outlet_ we could unwind you a bit, sweetie."

 

"And here I thought you were winding me up, dear."

 

She laughed at that (well there was no point denying it), and the Doctor sucked and nibbled his way down her neck. He was a bit more forceful this regeneration and a lot more direct. She definitely liked it.

 

By the time she got to his trousers, his questing fingers had settled between her thighs, and River had to suck in a breath and widen her stance when he parted her folds and started to tease her. Her hands stilled at the rush of feeling.

 

His boots were going to be a bit of a problem, River absently acknowledged, as he hitched her leg over his hip with a grunt and thrust one finger inside her, quickly adding a second. While an amusing and sturdy choice of footwear, Docs weren't exactly easy to slip out of.

 

"Doctor," she managed, his name hitching on a moan as he continued to work her up, his thumb circling her clit and his hand moving faster, the other gripping her securely.

 

He made a noise of acknowledgement, but River was already too far gone to finish her question, her hands clutching at his hip and hair, all but lost at the urgency of his fingers and the devotion burning in his eyes. And maybe she wasn't all that adjusted to having a body again after all because between his eyes and hands, her body was reveling in the intensity of feelings coursing through her - passion and love and lust and _oh, God_.

 

The Doctor caught her when she came, her orgasm building and cresting and leaving her weightless in her husband's arms for the first time in centuries.

 

Instead of setting her down, the Doctor scooped her up, striding purposefully back toward the desk and depositing her gently on the wood and papers. River shoved papers out of the way with one shaking arm, not about to let go of the Doctor. She smiled up at him and he grinned back - just a bit smug, and deservingly so. He was a little rougher around the edges this go around maybe, but just as much her Doctor as always. "Sweetie," she tried again, her voice ending up low and breathless in a way that always made the Doctor's eyes darken (this was no exception).

 

"Yes?"

 

"Take your trousers off."

 

She couldn't resist smirking at his momentarily befuddled expression before he hurried to do exactly as she'd told him. Bless, the Doctor could be quite agreeable when properly motivated. She kissed him again to be sure (and because she couldn't seem to stop), and the Doctor tore away from her with another delectable growl, shoving down his trousers and fighting to get free of his boots.

 

It was going to take some getting used to her sweetie cursing creatively under his breath (that was usually her job), but she rather liked it. She rather liked everything about this new regeneration, as dear as the last had been to her. A new start for both of them, then.

 

There wasn't much time to dwell before the Doctor had irritably kicked his boots across the room and bent her back over the desk, stepping right into her space as always. River trailed first her eyes and then her hands across his new body: still lean and wiry, if a bit more mature than the last. It suited him - her old fella, no longer hiding in the body of eternal youth. Oh, that childlike joy still shone behind his eyes, but it was hidden under heavy brows and a gruff frown.

 

Only he wasn't frowning at the moment. Bless, he looked nervous, holding perfectly still as she completed her examination. "Not quite as strapping as my last regenerations," he admitted with a rueful look.

 

River wanted to laugh at the idea that any of the Doctor's bodies had been "strapping", but it hardly seemed the moment. She'd tease him about it ruthlessly later, when they weren't both naked and vulnerable and new. "But infinitely more coordinated," she corrected instead, licking her lips and raking her nails along his sides.

 

The Doctor made a pleased noise that he seemed to want to hide - not ticklish then, either. "You haven't seen the half of it."

 

"Show me."

 

River grinned wolfishly, thinking that it was her turn to devour him, but the Doctor was only content to stay still for so long. Their mouths and hands roamed one another's bodies as though for the first time - and it was a bit, at that - relearning all the places that made the other shudder and moan.

 

Impatient, needy, and a bit desperate for him, River drew him between her legs. She shifted her hips and bit at his new, thinner lips, one hand threading through his wiry hair - and oh, she was _so_ going to tease him about the curls and the _grey_.

 

The Doctor shifted with her, just as impatient, one hand splayed on the desk to balance and the other already gripping her arse. He pulled her closer, and then he was sliding just inside her - just that first touch enough to shock them both into a moment of stillness, their breaths catching on pleading noises. Just a moment though, and the Doctor rocked his hips forward with purpose, until he was finally, _finally_ filling her. It was all River could do to bury her face in his neck and listen to his pulse under her lips, against her chest, the throbbing of him echoing all the way inside her as he began to move.

 

"I love you."

 

River tore her head back to watch his face, shocked to hear the actual words - she'd _known_ , of course she'd known, but she'd never expected...

 

But the Doctor quickly pressed his face to her hair, mumbling explanations or expletives or sweet nothings that were lost to the pounding of her pulse roaring in her ears.

 

They moved together with a quick, hard rhythm that did little to belie their desperation for one another. River could already feel the pleasure coiling tight and bursting within her again, driven on by the sharp motions of the Doctor's hips and the stark honesty of his words.

 

He pressed her back until they were both lying across the desk, papers sticking to her back, clutching at one another as their bodies grew increasingly desperate for release, their rhythm fast and increasingly disjointed.

 

With one hand in his curls, River pulled him back far enough to look into his eyes - more black than blue, but oh so clear. She could read every line of his new face, and all she saw was love. "Oh, sweetie," she began, cupping his cheek in her hand and fighting against the rising tide building within her. "Doctor. My love."

 

It was too much and not enough, and the Doctor spilled inside her with a stutter of his hips and a low moan; River was right behind him, her head thrashing against the desk as they fell apart utterly caught up in one another.

 

The Doctor collapsed over her, his weight a familiar presence - perhaps a little less bony and a bit more solid, but still two hearts beating a rushed staccato in time with hers.

 

There was only so long they could stay like that though - they were sticky and sweaty and there were stray papers and pens digging into her back. River shifted a bit and the Doctor gently rolled off her, settling next to her on the desk and undoubtedly sending more papers and odds and ends scattered to the floor in his wake.

  
Once she felt like she could move again, River propped herself up on her elbow and watched him.

 

He reached up and plucked a pen from her hair that she hadn't even noticed, and a smile tugged at his lips when she scowled. "Where are you coming from, then, all done up like that?" He motioned negligently towards the floor where her dress lay discarded and likely ruined - it was not the kind of dress one simply crumpled to the floor.

 

"Spoilers," she teased, and it was practically automatic, though she imagined the truth would be spoilers just by the look in his eyes.

 

"No, no. None of that now - we're past all that rubbish." The Doctor shoved himself into a sitting position and put on his most serious, cross face. "Does this look like a face that does spoilers?"

 

She had to admit that it was far more intimidating than the last version. But still just as ridiculous, bless. River smoothed out his strong, glowering eyebrows. "No, I suppose not. Well then, _husband_ , I'm coming straight from the largest hard drive in the universe - with a stop to change, of course. Angelic never really suited me, but it seemed fitting for the ghost of your dead wife."

 

The Doctor sucked in a breath, looking as though she'd slapped him. Then he reached out and pinched her, hard.

 

"Oww!"

 

His eyebrows knit together in confusion and what looked a bit like pain. "But you're real," and he was all but begging her to agree with him.

 

Rubbing at her arm, River glowered at him. "Of course I am, you daft old man. And you're supposed to pinch yourself."

 

"How?"

 

He sounded so broken that River relented immediately, softening her expression and her words, and steeling herself for the truth, spoilers and all. "Trenzalore. Or have you forgotten our goodbye kiss already?"

 

This Doctor wore his emotions on his sleeve, if one knew where to look, and River did. He cycled through shock and hope and denial before settling on outrage. "That wasn't goodbye! That was hello - _oh_." And there was hope again.

_The Doctor killed her and saved her with a kiss. Their lives always looping with an edge of perfect symmetry from her end all the way back to her beginning, when she'd done the same to him._

_It had only taken the Doctor one kiss. The showoff._

_She knew, of course, even as her Library projection was fading from Trenzalore, even as she was being pulled back into the mainframe, she could feel her molecules being rewritten from code to form. River Song closed her eyes and said goodbye when she meant hello (_ Rule One _)._

_"Goodbye, sweetie."_

 

She couldn't resist rolling her eyes because honestly, how had he not known? She'd all but told him on Tranzalore. "And the penny drops."

 

The Doctor pressed kisses to her hair, her forehead, her cheeks, her lips, his hands cradling her head until he could look at her square on. "I didn't dare think it had worked - it had been so long," and there was hurt again, "why didn't you find me?"

 

"Weren't you listening? I came straight here." Only she wanted to curse as soon as she said it because she could see it in his eyes, even hidden behind those theatrical brows. He looked old - so much older than she had ever seen him. Much, much older than Trenzalore. "How long has it been, Doctor?"

 

He shook his head. "No longer than you waited for me in the Library."

 

It was River's turn to frown. That had been a very long time, indeed. Long enough for shades of doubt that she would have never imagined to creep between the pages of their love story. "Doctor -"

 

"No matter now, River. We're both on the same page at last." He kissed her quiet and she let him, still reeling - from seeing him; from everything he'd said; from everything he hadn't.

 

"And where has my diary wandered off to, then?" she queried when they parted again. It hadn't been in the Library, which meant it was with him somewhere. Or had been.

 

"You won't need it," he was positively fierce - vehement.

 

Perhaps not the moment to remind him that they were still the same people - more or less - and that they would still need their space now and again. "No," River agreed, "but I'm used to keeping a diary, my love. I have several, in fact."

 

Diaries for expeditions and adventures and Stormcage and Luna - but only one of them was ever TARDIS blue.

 

The Doctor sighed heavily and went to fetch his coat, shaking off sequins from her dress with a scowl and producing her diary from his bigger-on-the-inside breast pocket, where it would have rested over one of his bigger-on-the-inside hearts. Still her sentimental idiot, then. "You'll have to read some to me, sometimes. We can compare diaries; no spoilers now."

 

The cover was softer, more worn than she remembered - as though someone else's hands had cherished it almost as much as hers.

 

River smiled, and the Doctor's answering grin was brilliant - suffusing his face with the same warm glow of joy that she felt. "Maybe I will."


End file.
